The Tick Talks

"It was the most disgusting night ever."
"Not that I could help it; I just didn't expect things to go this far."
"Yea, well there is nothing that can be done about it now."
"He called me. I had known it coming for some time now, so I didn't quite bother to think it could involve something else too."
"I picked up the stuff and went straight to the place we'd agreed to meet. I got suspicious when a friend of his called on the way. She said her place was very close to the one we'd originally planned on meeting at, and that he and I were free to come over for coffee and cookies."
"Seemed harmless, so I agreed. Her place was quite nice, but something seemed to suggest that it was all a facade."
"There were two others too, who I hadn't expected at all. I thought it was going to be just him, me and her."
"But that was not to be. One of them, as it turned out, was her flatmate. Dark auburn hair, with contrasting light eyes. And a body that was as fit as it was delicate. Innocence that could turn you on. The other one was very old. In fact, too old to be hanging out with us. I noticed the smirk when she shook hands with me. And I didn't bother to respond to her phoney pleasantries.
I took my coffee and dunked the cookie in it, hoping it would start a conversation with the auburn-haired beauty.
When it didn't, I picked up one of the pieces of paper lying on the table. It had the word SCISSOR written on it, in big bold letters. And a crude drawing of something that looked like it. I asked her what it was for. I saw a wry smile dart across the old hag's face. Even before I realised that the woman I was talking to wasn't listening, she jumped and sat on my lap. It wasn't that I didn't protest. What came out of my mouth didn't sound like one. She told me they'd been playing an extended form of Scissor, Paper and Rock. Except that along with these three articles, there were also Man, Woman and Devil. The rules were quite interesting, even though a little too comprehensive. Man writes on paper, hurls rock and exorcises devil. Woman tempts the man, writes on paper and uses scissors. Devil tempts the woman and is immune to rock and scissors. Simple rules, simple game. Would you care to join us for a game? I saw this as the only way to get her off my lap. I said yes.